A treasured memory of my childhood is embedded in my mind. On summer afternoons, I would spend who-knows-how-long lying on my back, nestled into the grassy green hillside, staring at the clouds with my faithful companion Frisky by my side. Enjoying the slow transformation of the sky, I imagined adventures in the shifting shapes and my breathing would slow. My soul overflowed with the wonder of Elohim’s beautiful creation. Time would cease and all was well with my soul.
And then I grew up.
Life’s schedule was full to bursting and when my head landed on my soft pillow at night, I immediately sank into a deep sleep. My soul craved a chunk of time without a watch, or later an iPhone, handy to remind me of the passing of time. My mind longed for space to simply dream, wander or gaze at the clouds again, but my adult self berated me with piercing words that acted like a whip to drive me on.
“You need to focus.”
“You’re so slow!”
“You have so much to do!”
“You need to get your act together like everyone else.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
When I sketched or painted, the messages I heard were “You’re not creative enough!” or “You don’t think outside of the box enough.” On and on it went and I began to believe the lies, becoming my own worst enemy.
The decades rolled on and the negative self talk became my constant companion. All it took was making a mistake, comparing myself to someone else, trying something I had never done before, or simply being human.
Therefore, having a dream or doing something outside of my comfort zone was certainly out of the question. It became easier to just smash the desires of my heart down or sabotage myself.
What dreams are YOU smashing down? Have you forgotten who you were created to be? Do you long to break the power of negative self talk in your life and rediscover who you truly are underneath?
Through God’s grace, at the age of 60 I am overcoming negative self-talk, growing by doing hard, new things, and pursuing my dreams! I’d love to help you do the same through my unique blend of healing and life coaching. DM me for more information.
…let us throw off everything that hinders (Hebrews 12:1b)
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